USING “EQUALITY” TO AVOID YOUR OWN PAIN
(A bit of an excerpt, but so important to understand.... ✨🙏🏼✨)
I personally do not “give” to a male human being over the age of ten. Why? Because it would be disrespectful for me to do so.
Howevvvvver, I *give back* generously WHEN IT IS IN MY PLEASURE TO DO SO.
Mothers GIVE to their children. Lover-Priestesses (and Queens and Muses) **give BACK** to the Masculine pole holder in the relationship.
🔹Let us remember: 🔹
The Feminine is THE Golden Chalice AND The Great Multiplier — so her GIVING BACK to her Beloved provider/protector is VITAL.
It is not just this tragically rare thing called ‘being gracious’, it is FUEL.
And....the creational cycle of giving : giving back may not always occur in the same form of currency.
The masculine principle *may* share financial resources — while the Feminine principle *may or may not* use the same currency in her “giving back” arc of this creational cycle. She may source her “giving back” in the deeper stratas of her chosen form of service (should this be in her pleasure), her joyous submission, cultivated acts of radiance-drenched devotion, etc.
Having said all this, I personally certainly do offer to pay for things episodically — as it is truly my pleasure to do so.
To be clear:
NONE of this is about rules or right/wrong ways of doing things.
It’s about inviting women / Feminine Essenced creatures to notice when and where we are AVOIDING *bearing the excruciating vulnerability* of allowing ourselves to be provided for <without it collapsing into transaction>. When we are in unconscious avoidance of receiving provision from the Masculine (within and without), we compromise the integrity and foundation of the electro-magnetic polarity within the system — aka: the relationship.
We all have to find what is right for us based on the variables in our relationship typology and family system.
Personally, I see and speak with WAY too many Feminine essenced Ones entering into “equal partnerships” by going toe-to-toe financially with their partner because that is actually EASIER and LESS PAINFUL for them than confronting the extremely psycho-activating and achingly brutal experience of 2 aspects of Feminine individuation:
1. KINGMAKING ☠️
2 BIRTHING THE FULLNESS OF HER *OWN* FEMININE
Dilating the **FEMININE ASPECT*^ of their Being to give birth to a version of SELF who BELIEVES SHE IS WORTHY *in all ways* of having her HEARTS DESIRE.
Here is what often happens instead: 💔
She is not willing or does not know how to bear this pain....so she misses this initiation over and over and over again and INSTEAD, she migrates to her MASCULINE aspect because it’s EASIER and less terrifying (in the short term.)
In doing so, she creates an unconscious but quite severe disservice to the Masculine principle in the system because ‘he’ also cannot be initiated if ‘she’ is occupying the Masculine principle. So we now have BOTH psyches in this relationship remaining uninitiated (in this particular aspect) and the system highly de-polarized. This is gorgeously sustainable for friendships — and the kiss of death for long term, intimate, Eros-inspired relationships.
And yes, it is SHE who must bear the initial pain of the descent and initiation.
These 2 encounters are PROFOUND Initiations and Heroine’s Journeys of the HIGHEST order for the Feminine —- and so many women/ Feminine Essenced Ones would rather settle into de-polarized equality (ps: this is by definition what *friendship* is 👀) rather than entering into the descent of KingMaking (which can and will be mothertrucking EXCRUCIATING) or Birthing the version of SELF that is an energetic match for this level of receiving and HAVING (THE apex of Feminine psychic initiatory encounters other than physical birthing.)
The problem with this 50/50 sitch is that “equality” rolls out the red-carpet for the 4 Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse (Gottman’s work) so sooner or later, it swings the doors wide open to resentment, contempt, and unfortunately, an extremely predictable anorexic relationship to Eros.
The pain of submitting to the initiation AND the pain of birthing the fullness of her Feminine *must* be met.
It is only a question of WHEN....and the pain that will be left in its aftermath. 🖤
NOTE: anatomical reality and gender is IRRELEVANT to this archetypal journey. I am aware that I am using he/she pronouns. It’s my intention that they refer to the archetypal energetic principles of the Masculine and Feminine, and I know that this may be difficult to anchor when reading my pieces. ♥️