Everything I've been trying *not* to say about Dating Apps for (Feminine) Women
Women in my fields ask me about online dating all the time.... (Part 1)
Dating apps are no place for *Feminine* women.
I am very well aware that there are thousands of exceptions that have resulted in happy partnerships, marriages and families (Praise God!) -- but what women need to understand is that Dating Apps are *DESIGNED* to be a feeding ground for men -- and one that wreaks further havoc on the ORGANIC FEMININE spirit and heart because the entire system is rigged to reward the Masculine -- *including* over-generous, performative (and sadly, often traumatized) Masculine *women*.
This is very well hidden in the topside interfaces of these marketplaces, but there is an epigenetic imprint that is deeply embedded inside these world-spaces that deeply favors the experience of Men, because these synthetic systems are built on Masculiinized foundations, energetics, and reward systems.
Did you know that the entire provenance and DNA of the online dating world was designed in service to Gay Men / Hook - Up Culture? (Which to this day, it meets those needs and desires of this particular demographic FABULOUSLY! )
This is actually an example of brilliant and rightful "Product to Market Fit". But....when these apps then 'evolved' (Frankensteined) to meet the desire of the hetero-sexual marketplace, a major wildcard was introduced into their tectonic plates:
*THE FEMININE*.
Once women were introduced into these systems, the valuation of these companies *skyrocketed*. Millions and millions and millions of dollars in profit. This wasn't just a simple experience of 'product extension" -- what was introduced into these businesses is the eternal jackpot:
FEMININE DESIRE.
Actually, its even more precise and potent than Feminine Desire -- its FEMININE LONGING.
Feminine Longing is the Sacrificial Lamb *AND* the Cash Cow of Malignant Capitalism.
The moment the TRUE, INNOCENT, ETERNAL longing of the Feminine Heart touches 'the marketplace', it suddenly becomes a Capitalistic Feeding Frenzy.
((Nothing else even comes close. )
Look around you.....whatever exists in the DEPTHS of the longing of a Woman's Heart becomes radically contorted, monetized and consumed by Capitalism, and by the egoic, greedy, power-hungry *distorted* Masculine template that lives within us all.
The Masculine (within men AND women) makes Bank on the back of the Feminine. (This is zero % accusatory of men, btw....this is the template of the Distorted Masculine / Dark Consumptive King within ALL of us.)
If I could wave a magic wand, I'd whisk all Feminine Women off the dating Apps. Poof. No mas dating app for you, Loves!
You deserve to have your Yin + Deep Feminine Nature PROTECTED by a 'system' or team that is designed to cherish and *honor* the precious codes of the Deep Feminine.
Moden Matchmakers are one such 'construct' that establishes this layer of protection and curation for the Feminine Heart.
But sadly, eventually this would become (if it has not already) an insatiable Capitalistic bloodhound ...because Feminine longing is THE primordial money shot.
Create a system that keeps its finger on the clit of Feminine LONGING, and you have a self-sourced Money Making Machine for the ages. It feels truly tragic to me...and of course, is all part of the great cosmic spectacle of our incarnation.
I totally know that many beautiful marriages, families and long term partnerships have been consecrated on dating apps (Hallelujah!) AND this does not create equivalency that these layers of our modern society are rightful for Feminine Women.
The energetic reality is....they never have been...and they are *still* not the rightful place for a woman who is organically saturated with deep Feminine coding to be protected and "properly" courted.
The energetic carnage and Masculinization of women's hearts, Eros, and scarcity-skewed, competitive mindset is heartbreaking to witness.
I also totally know + have full faith that God works in mysterious ways, and when it is the appointed hour for you to meet your Love, your Love you shall meet -- whether on Tinder or on the beaches of Tulum!
And yet -- Feminine women deserve to meet men who have been VETTED *if not by an actual Father/Uncle/Masculine Seer* (as this layer of covering and protecting has tragically been very lost in our modern "culture") -- then at least by an protective 'agent' in the role or form of a skillful, CHERISHING-OF-THE-FEMININE MatchMaker / Auntie / Father Principle who can CURATE the sorts of Masculine frequencies these women are chronically exposed to inside the apps.
I see the injury, disorientation, and extraction of Shakti that occurs within the genetics of these apps (meaning that they are INTENTIONALY CODED THIS WAY) and how Feminine women are very often over-exposed, unprotected, over-generous, driven to performative, contorted, over-functioning behavior, and are churned through too many "casual" (even WORSE) connections with men.
The intentional undercurrent of fear injected into the algorithms of losing one of the "good men" on these sites drive far too many women to be sexual with men before their heart is ready. The bait to abandon herself, and her deeper values due to compression, scarcity and fear is (brilliantly, tragically) *engineered* into the customer journey.
This chronic over-exposure to this particular layer of Masculine consciousness who consumes the Feminine through online dating apps *EVEN WHEN HE IS WELL-INTENTIONED* is simply not in service to the heart, the values, the virtue, or the sex of Women.
In completion, I will share that I believe that women who are serious about creating long term partnership with a psychically, financially, and erotically mature Man who is *also serious* about finding a woman to create his life with may want to consider investing her money into MatchMaking services.
I like that these services *at least* place a vibrational red velvet rope around her Feminine and an energetic moat around her Yin. She is protected from the over-exposure to Yang whirlpools of unvetted Masculine energy. She is also protected (in theory) from making choices that are extractive or consumptive of her own Yin nature because of the FULLNESS of her Heart's longing.
I do not have this personal experience from dating, but I very much faced this gauntlet and aspect of my own Self from journeying the Fertility world, and I will tell you that there when a woman is consumed with her own Longing, she loses the capacity for TRUE discernment. This does not make her a victim -- but this does make her temporarily
NOT * emotionally -- or finanically* sober (and truthfully, perhaps even sane!)
I know that Matchmaking is its own industry built on the back of Feminine longing and desire....but....my sense is that it replicates a more organic system that has been sadly lost in the sands of time of our modern 'culture' (ie: vetting the men who have access to a woman's precious, vulnerable heart, womb, and primordial Yin) -- and that this investment into an *imperfect* dome of protection and covering is likely a valuable way of caring for and cherishing the longing of the heart of her Woman. This is not an overt recommendation but moreso, an offering of a possible alternative for those who feel resonance.
It is my prayer that this be of service to the Feminine Heart. 🌹